Adam Mitchell [00:00:01]:
Hey, everyone. Welcome you back to the Classes Quarter Dad podcast. In this episode, I'm gonna be speaking with my friend, Matt McKee. This is a interview that happened at the last child safety summit. And if you're a parent who is concerned about the access that your child has through digital means online their cell phone or their tablet, then this is a nonnegotiable for you. You really have to listen to it. Matt's gonna go into some details and some statistics, some real statistics that every one of us parents really need to understand. He's gonna offer you some alternatives and some important steps that you need to take right now to make sure that you not only protect the safety of your child, but the safety of your whole family.
Adam Mitchell [00:00:40]:
He's gonna talk more about that. This is an extremely important episode of the Close Quarter Dad podcast. It was a very important part of the Child Safety Summit. We're getting ready for the summit this year, an entire weekend immersed in learning, protection and safety and how you can work with your children to make them stronger and, to make them more resilient and knowledgeable and be able to negotiate a lot of the challenges and risks that they're gonna be facing as they grow. So without any further ado, let's get started with this episode.
Adam Mitchell [00:01:19]:
I'm here today in conversation with my friend, Matt McKee, and we're gonna be talking about the specifics centered around what we, as parents, can do inside of the tech space. Now Matt is the, vice president over at Bark, and he is also the, author of a book called Parenting in a Tech World. And this is not a suggested reading. It's what I would consider to be a mandatory reading. Today, in this conversation, you really need to kinda turn off anything, put the phone down, take out a pen and paper because notes are going to be imperative. There's gonna be a lot of knowledge that's gonna be shared and learned, but the priority of this, is so incredibly important. We can talk about personal protection. We can talk about wilderness safety or all these different things and and have the mindset of going on the course that's most dangerous.
Adam Mitchell [00:02:21]:
But in reality, we need to look at the course that's most likely right now for our children, And that is the ubiquitousness of technology and information and content consumption, how they're receiving us, and what are some of the concerns that we don't yet know we should have as parents. That's what Matt's gonna be sharing with us in this conversation. Now I just wanna let everyone know as you're watching this, Matt is doesn't I didn't give him a script. I didn't say, hey. These are the questions that I'm gonna ask, and so think through your answers. We're going straight from the hip here because as a father myself of children between the ages of 10 to 20, as someone who, is you know, in my my side job is I'm the digital marketing manager for one of the country's oldest nonprofits. And they're often targeted from global organizations I should say, global actors all over the world, because the work that they do, in the faith space and in mission work, all over the world. So, yeah, at a security level, I understand what's going on underneath the dark hood of the Internet.
Adam Mitchell [00:03:27]:
I know how people are targeted. I know what a a lot about this. So I'm gonna try to really reel it back to the basic parent who's concerned about what their 10 year old daughter's seeing on Instagram. But, man, I gotta tell you, Matt, there's a lot of desire for me to just step into some dark stuff, and maybe we can do a little bit of that. My goal really is to not scare parents here. I don't think that that's what we wanna do, but I do want there to be new brows of concern that are raised among all of us. And when we're done, it's imperative that we continue this conversation. So, Matt, welcome to the Child Safety Summit.
Adam Mitchell [00:04:07]:
Thank you so much before anything for the incredible work that you're doing over and the leadership that you're providing Bark and that solution. We're gonna be talking about that, but also for the work that you're doing, with your book, Parenting in a Tech World, and everything around that. The lives that you are changing, the information that you're getting into parents is incredibly important. I'm so proud and happy to have you here.
Matt McKee [00:04:31]:
Well, Adam, thanks so much for having me. And, you know, hopefully, something that is shared today won't just lead to fear, but it will lead to hope. And we can encourage all of the dads out there to, get more involved get more involved with, not only what's happening in their kids' lives, but be able to influence the culture through technology. And we'll talk about some of that as well.
Adam Mitchell [00:04:58]:
I'm excited for that. I really am. Let's go let's just go right to the throat here. I would love you to share with all of us what you see as the or what you might consider as the current state of harmful and traumatic content that's online and available for kids. And, and then maybe we can step into what some of the highest priorities that your team sees, in the in in in emerging technologies or emerging apps or hazards that might be there that we're gonna have to pay attention to as parents?
Matt McKee [00:05:32]:
I know it's a big question. No. It is. You know, one of the biggest concerns, or that I have is when parents and dads look at their kid and they're like, yeah. Not my kid. Like, I would know my kid if they're in trouble. I would know my kid if something was learning, or I would I would know because I have this instinct. Right? And the problem is, no.
Matt McKee [00:05:55]:
It's it's every kid, and even good kids make bad choices. And it's not like we can go, you know, put our head in the sand and hope that something doesn't happen. So, you know, each year, Arts puts out an annual report. This past year, we analyzed over 3,400,000,000 messages. That would be everything from, text messages to emails to across 30 different platforms and all these different things. And I I just wanna give you some insight into some of the stats. I'm not gonna read them all to you. But just know this, 80% of tweens and 95% of teens expressed or experienced violent subject matter and thoughts while using technology over the last year.
Matt McKee [00:06:40]:
45% of tweens and 66% of teens engaged in conversations about depression. 69% of tweens and 91% of teens encountered nudity or content in a in a sexual nature. 72% of tweens and 85% of teens experience bullying as a bully or a victim, and 75% of tweens and 93% of teens, engaged in conversations surrounding drug and alcohol. Like, those are just some of the stats, and that doesn't even get into suicide, which suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in teenagers in the US. So when you look at what is happening in terms of mental health, when you look at what's happening in terms of just content, yeah, there's there's a lot out there and know that more than likely, it is your kid, and, you do need to step in, and you need to be engaged.
Adam Mitchell [00:07:48]:
This is an incredible place to start. Thank you. Because first of all, when I step into a conversation with a dad about safety and we go to a place about technology and social media, they immediately go to the place of porn. Like, my kid is exposed to porn. Right? But there are so many different legs to this. There are so many different directions when we talk about keeping a child safe. And I'm glad you went into depression. I mean, that was online like, you just went right there.
Adam Mitchell [00:08:21]:
Then we talk about bullying. We talk about cruelty, that's, that's put out there. And then, also, we you know, suicide. So we're not, Matt, we're just not having a conversation around keeping our kids safe from some predator in another part of the world that's trying to feed them pornographic content. Correct?
Matt McKee [00:08:41]:
No. Correct. Now, look, that's why a lot of us and even myself got into this space of trying to figure out technology because I was putting my son to bed 1 night, and I asked him the question, hey. What have you seen recently that's that you find interesting? And that question led to him answering teaching, and he was 9 years old, dad, did you know that Superman and Wonder Woman sometimes take off their clothes? And I knew that he had been exposed to adult material. But when you really analyze what's happening on technology and our relationship with technology, you see that it's really broken, and it's not healthy. So it goes beyond just, like you said, pornographic, content. It goes into our healthy relationship with tech. And if you don't believe me that you have a a relationship with technology, then I would just I I would say, then fine.
Matt McKee [00:09:35]:
Take this device and throw it away for a month, and let's just see what happens. Right? Yeah. And you would go, no. No. No. I I will fight for that relationship. I will pay money, lots and lots of money for that relationship. So, you know, that's why we have modeled this as parents.
Matt McKee [00:09:56]:
We have modeled this as dads and said, there is a an extreme value on technology, so much so that we're willing to be connected to it all the time. And we wonder why our kids are like, hey, I need to be connected all the time. I need the most expensive device that I can get. I need the fastest. And, so, you know, modeling leads us to, I think, a lot of the different things that we are having our kids experience today. So we need to model better as dads, and we need to model better, as parents as a whole.
Adam Mitchell [00:10:32]:
Absolutely. So I think the 1st takeaway really here is shifting our paradigm to a more holistic understanding of how we're gonna be keeping our children safe. When we're talking about technology, part of that and the starting point really is modeling ourselves. And, yeah, I hear a lot of parents who quickly just go right to, you know, all my kids always on their phone, and and they try to use the technology. And I think, hopefully, our conversation
Matt McKee [00:10:58]:
is gonna emerge to some of these benefits of technology because never have we been in a space where, you know, our child has an answer to any question that they want in their pocket, or they can have a conversation immediately and get the help that they might need immediately in their pocket or be entertained, educated, and so on with some teaching, incredible apps and the technology that's rolling out. But it's really up to us what you're saying, Matt, is for us as parents to model that use. But to also be able to monitor it and be able to step in as a parent knowing that, like, you know, we just cannot be naive here. We have to be 1 step ahead. Would you agree with that? Yeah. A 100%. So, you know, you raised a good question. How do I get my kid off the device? And and here's the thing.
Matt McKee [00:11:45]:
When you and I you know, we woke up this morning, we looked in the mirror. And when we looked in the mirror, what we saw was a reflection. And the same thing goes with technology. Really, technology is just a reflection of our humanity. It's both good and bad. And when we look at what our kids are doing, we can see good and we can see bad. And if all it all it is is a consumption tool, then, yeah, you're gonna see a lot of bad because they're gonna be able to consume a lot of different things. But if you see it also as a creation tool or a tool to collect or a tool to compete.
Matt McKee [00:12:23]:
Like, just go ask your, son or daughter, if you could create anything in the world, what would you create? For me, when I asked that question to, one of my sons, he came back and he went, well, dad, I I would love to have some speakers and a microphone, and I I I'd love to be able to see if I could create some music. Today, he's 17 years old. You can actually find him on Apple, Spotify, TikTok. He's all over the place. He's actually a, a hip hop recording artist. And That's awesome. Yeah. So now I don't look at my son and I say, get off of technology.
Matt McKee [00:12:59]:
I say, no. No. No. Let's celebrate what you've created on technology. You see, when you and I looked in the mirror this morning, we didn't take down the mirror and throw it and throw it away because we saw what was bad. We looked and we said, how can we change what's out of place and then celebrate what's actually good? That's how we leave the house in the morning. That's how we're also going to be able to change technology. We're gonna be able to celebrate.
Matt McKee [00:13:25]:
Instead of complaining about our kids always being on it, we're gonna change our mindset and say, look, what could they create, or what could they compete at, or what could they collect? And when I say collect, here's what I mean. You know, some of, some of your kids, and this would be amazing, if all of a sudden, they were collecting all these different recipes and they went and they figured out how to be a chef on YouTube, you would celebrate that because tonight, you will get a much better meal. Right? So, yeah, let them collect. Let them create. Let them compete.
Adam Mitchell [00:14:00]:
There's a lot of wisdom there, Matt. You know, I like what I I think there's a lot of power, and I just wanna kinda kinda just take a step back here and revisit the question you asked. If you could create anything in right now in the world, what would it be? That's really something. I'm gonna take note of that. I'm gonna actually ask one of my children that today. I would like to take a couple further steps back. We talked about some of the problems. You you came right out with those powerful numbers.
Adam Mitchell [00:14:28]:
But one of the things I wanna ask about is what you have in your experience and also through the technology and and how you look into this at at at the source of these problems. You know, in my space, we acknowledge a couple teaching, and then the numbers shift around from year to year. They could shift on a whole number of different things, but they basically follow an 80 20 rule, which is 80% of the victimizations are going to be coming from someone that you're already associated with. 10% of them, and the next one up is gonna be kinda wrong place at wrong time. The third and the third one, and now we're getting down to maybe, like, you're getting out to, like, 7 to 10%, somewhere in that number, is going to be, poor judgment. You made the wrong call. Shame on you. And then the very last one, the smallest one is gonna be the the bad guy.
Adam Mitchell [00:15:31]:
It's gonna be really someone who's going after your information or
Matt McKee [00:15:36]:
lessons a possession that you have.
Adam Mitchell [00:15:39]:
But, really, what we need to be concerned about inside of personal protection, and I want I'm curious, Matt, to hear the overlap or if there is any, where really a lot of this content and a lot of this cruelty or the that's administered or it's a it's the victimization is done by someone that they already are associated with. Is is do we see the same thing in your line of work, what you're seeing in the digital spaces?
Matt McKee [00:16:02]:
Yeah. A 100%. I you know, it's what's interesting is, you know, even when you and I were growing up, our parents did everything they could to curate an environment, meaning they worked their tail off to make sure that we were in a certain ZIP code, and they did everything they could to make sure that, we were trying to go to the right school. And, like, they did, they made sure that we were around the best people as possible, whether it be in a faith environment or make sure we were in some club or, like, whatever that was that our parents saw the best possible, they curated that environment, you know, for us so that the 80% of things or people that we were around, at least they saw as safe. Right? So, you know, they they would do anything and everything that's possible. The problem with technology today is parents don't know how to curate any type of environment. I mean, it's not like they're going, okay. You're on TikTok, and you're on Chat and you're on Instagram and you're on YouTube, and now they're exposing them to an uncurated environment where all of these different, people that they may be coming in contact with, and so that 80% is actually expanding.
Matt McKee [00:17:22]:
And that 80%, it's not that your kids are be targeted as much as you may think they are. They're just being exposed to that many more people. That's fascinating. Yeah. So, you know, when we look at this, it's, you're online, no. We you used to know 300 people. Why? Because that's what you like, in your neighborhood and in your community and, like, you could you just knew 8, 300 people.
Adam Mitchell [00:17:51]:
Right.
Matt McKee [00:17:51]:
Today, it it's much larger than that. You're interacting with so much more people than that. And because of that, you take that 80 20 rule, and you're going, well, 80%, you know, once you once you start doing math and denominators and I mean, all of those different pieces, that's really what you're opening your child up to, and that's what you need to be aware of. And then those other numbers, of course, get bigger as well. Your 10% of, you know, the work that we do at Arts, and Bark is, just so everyone knows, it's an artificial intelligence company that helps, monitor, put time limits, you know, bedtimes. We filter content. We block content. Like, we allow we really, it's a one shop stop stop shop of, helping you be a better parent when it comes to technology.
Matt McKee [00:18:47]:
So all of the monitoring that we do, we actually help education as well. We're in, over about 20% of US schools today. And because of all that work, we've actually turned in over a 1000 online predators into the FBI. That's amazing. And we've helped stop 16 school shootings. And we've helped over 5,000 kids who were, imminently suicidal get help and, like, all of the good that we're doing. But, again, as missional as we are, we want to cover more kids, and we wanna be able to do more so that those numbers are growing and growing and growing and, you know, encountering more and more people. So it is it goes way beyond just adult material.
Matt McKee [00:19:36]:
It goes way beyond even, you know, what you're letting your kids be exposed to, it's, it it goes to the the real fact of if you really wanna learn how to or, really know what's going on with your kids, you're you're gonna have to change your mindset and change your framework, to be able to do that.
Adam Mitchell [00:19:59]:
Yeah. You know, I I apologize for not introducing Bark first and what it was, but what I really wanted to do is set the scenario of what the what the truth is then. And then my next question was gonna be to to talk about Bark a little bit, and, you explained it really well. What do you and your team, see in the near future that's concerning you when we're talking about harmful, or traumatic content? What's coming what you know, what's what's right around the corner that we're working towards that we wanna be aware of?
Matt McKee [00:20:33]:
Yeah. So if I mean, you look at web one point o. Right? Yep. Web one point o was I I can make a website. I I don't know if you remember GeoCities and Sure. Remember AOL and, you know, it was like, hey. You have got mail. Yeah.
Matt McKee [00:20:47]:
Right? So, you know, it's kinda where, that's where tech was. And then all of a sudden, Web 2.0 came, and Web 2.0 said, hey. Not only can we build a website, but we can connect people. So that's where, you know, the birth of social media. And that's really in in reality, we're still there. I I think we're past the top of that curve. But, you know, we we are in this era of, being connected to anyone at any time, at any place, and that's fine. Web 3.0, and maybe you've heard that term.
Adam Mitchell [00:21:22]:
Sure.
Matt McKee [00:21:23]:
Web 3.0 truly is, okay, now that I've created and I'm now connected, what can I become? Like, it is a totally different question. And that become aspect is why you look at the metaverse and you're like, I can become anything I want. I can, become a superhero in a made up world. I can become a creator of something that lays on top of reality that is augmented reality, and now we're interacting, with digital products and digital assets on top of physical assets. So this is opening up a whole new world of, of truly what is it you want to become. Because of that, even Bob Iger said this. And Bob Iger, of course, was the CEO and chairman of the Disney, the Walt Disney World company. He said, you know, if I was gonna have my kids build a company today, it would be monitoring content within the metaverse.
Matt McKee [00:22:33]:
And it and it's because, it is it is going to be so risky, and, the wild wild west that you you're gonna have to know, what's happening, even in this other alternative world per se and, and be engaged there so that you know what's happening with your kids. Matt, I wanna just put a stop here. We're we're red light right now because I wanna tell every father who's listening right now, who's just going like this, Oh, yeah. Well, you
Adam Mitchell [00:23:07]:
know, that stuff's beyond me. The metaverse, it's crazy talk, you know, blah blah. You are being informed of something right now that if you were to rewind to 1996 and someone is telling you about the impact that the Internet, this www thing was going to have on the world. If you take that and you multiply it by a number that you cannot comprehend, That is what Matt is talking about right now, in my opinion. The the the effects of augmented and, virtual reality, the holographic, you know, I mean, we could go to, like, talking about Neuralink. We could talk about, you know, what the metaverse is like and how, martial reality kids are gonna be experiencing their lectures. They're gonna be going to Manchester United games with their buddies who arts in Sicily, they're gonna be drinking beers right next to them and teaching Manchester United. I mean, the the entire way that young people in only a few years from now because of the acceleration of this technology is far beyond anything that most people can truly and deeply understand is it it is exponential growth.
Adam Mitchell [00:24:19]:
And what Matt is talking about right here, right now, is something that you need to hold on to whatever you can because we're gonna be going fast, and you need to be warned. You need to distance. You need to also be accepting because there's not a damn thing that you're gonna do to stop it. And by just saying, oh, you know what, Skip? I'm gonna go on to the next lab. I'm not you know, this is no. This is very, very real how your children and your your grandchildren, how they're going to be affected by this is massive. Matt, I wanna share with you, and, you know, I was you know, I was right. I you're talking about AOL.
Adam Mitchell [00:24:57]:
Now I really my head went right to, man, I remember when I used to put vinyl sheets up on the television to play Pong with the big tablets. You know? That's how far back I go. I'm not gonna date myself here. But but since then, Atari Intellivision, you know, the first in, I was at an Apple 2e. I was online back when we used cassette players and a modem that plugged into your Texas instruments. Like, I've been through this entire life cycle. I've watched it, and I'm here shoulder to shoulder with you saying, like, it's about to go straight upward with what we need to be concerned about. Can you give me now that we understand and now that we've really put the hazard lights on here for the listeners, let's go there.
Adam Mitchell [00:25:43]:
Talk about how Bark is positioning himself for that space and really what we need to be concerned about.
Matt McKee [00:25:50]:
Yeah. Look. We cover more social media platforms today than anybody else. We're in, you know, we let you connect 30 plus. We also, you know, not only do text messages and emails and all those different pieces, but what's amazing is that even the work that we're doing and I don't know if you saw, recently, there was, 43 attorneys general that wrote a letter to, Snapchat and TikTok and said, hey. We believe that there needs to be a third party, that you let monitor for on parents' behalf, to make sure that their kids are online. And, look, even that work, that we're trying to do and saying we want to be in every platform, in every place so that parents get to decide, what it you know, when something objectionable or something obscene has happened to their kid that they then know what conversation to have. They then know, how to come alongside their their their child.
Matt McKee [00:26:58]:
So, yeah, you better believe that we're looking at the metaverse as much as possible. You better believe that we're trying to get into, yeah, even video games. You you Yeah. Video games. Okay. So here's here's how far we've come. You and I growing up, our parents would look at us, and they'd say, you're rotting your brain. Right? Like, they're like, that's all you're doing.
Matt McKee [00:27:17]:
Today, my freshman in high school, he is, next year, he'll be the president of his esports team. Yes. His high school has an esports team that he made the varsity team his freshman year. He had to go for a physical, so, you know, to play a video game. His game of choice is called Rocket League. Rocket League is a a car you drive a car, hit a soccer ball into a net. Well, there were 2 teams at his high school that ended up going to the state tournament this year, and, his team was one of them. There was another team that was full of, seniors.
Matt McKee [00:27:56]:
So the seniors went on to play the, the a team and the b team played each other in the final eight. My son's team ended up losing. The a team went on to win the state tournament in Rocket League for the state of Georgia. Now and they also went on to be the national champions of Rocket League, for high school. Now just think about that. Like, you and I were told, get off the video games. These 3 kids are all getting college scholarships to play a video game where you drive a car and hit a soccer ball. So, don't don't tell me that things aren't possible in a very short order because, look, kids not only are playing video games today, they're making 100 of 1,000 and 1,000,000 of dollars, and they're getting college scholarships to do it.
Matt McKee [00:28:50]:
So that's what's pretty interesting. And when we look at the metaverse, it's like you said, it will be coming faster and faster and faster.
Adam Mitchell [00:29:02]:
The movie Ready Player 1, how accurate?
Matt McKee [00:29:09]:
I I don't well, look. It I still think we're, we're a ways off from that. And the reason I say that,
Adam Mitchell [00:29:21]:
I know it's fantasized and everything, but but would you recommend would you recommend just to kinda get for a parent to get their head around what we're talking about? Yeah. That might be
Matt McKee [00:29:30]:
Yeah. Yeah. For sure. And, you know, I I actually got to be at, South by Southwest when they showed that, for the first time. And so it is, no. Fascinating movie just like the matrix. Like, when you look at the matrix back when or when you looked at, all these different, all these minority report. When you looked at minority report, you're like, there's no way they're gonna be able to track our eyes, and there's no way they're gonna be no.
Matt McKee [00:29:56]:
No. No. No. Like, all of that stuff is already here. The and, yes, it it doesn't matter if you have a listening device or what you would call an echo or, an whatever in your house. You're being listened to. Okay? It it's not like, hey. I need to, make sure that, you know, my kids have privacy.
Matt McKee [00:30:17]:
And I'm like, no. No. No. You need to fight for the you need to fight for your kid more than your the tech company cares about your kid's data, because it it's already happening. So, you know, all of that, it is not to scare you. It is hopefully to bring you into reality to go, you know, this stuff is coming. Well, this stuff is here. We're trying to figure out how to implement it, I think is what reality is.
Adam Mitchell [00:30:47]:
You said something interesting, Matt, about on Bark, how you wanna give the parents back the control of that discussion rather than if I'm understanding you right, rather than the government going to TikTok saying, hey. Look. You gotta have a third arts. You gotta have someone here that watchdogs. But it sounded to me like you were saying that Bark has the position of stepping in, being that third party, but almost that is a representative of the parents in their best interest in making sure that the the conversation there's no firewall for the parent. It bounces up against the firewall back to the kid, and then the conversation goes to the kid through that 3rd party. But rather, Bark is there to represent the parent and allow the parent to have that conversation and inform the parent, and help the parent through that. Is that accurate? Is that what I'm
Matt McKee [00:31:46]:
as a company, we actually don't give access to, every text message, that your child sends or every post that they see or every video that, you know, they watched on YouTube. 1, you as a parent, as a dad, you don't have time to do that. Let's just, like, be honest. But but you do wanna be alerted. Like, you do want if there is a danger on the other side of your front door, you want your dog to bark. Like, you want an alert. So because of that, very similarly, what we do is, we help you monitor anything and everything that's happening on platforms that you allow your kids to be on. And then if there's something objectionable, we then take a a screenshot, we send that to you, and we say, here's what happened in context.
Matt McKee [00:32:39]:
We're we're not just looking for keywords, but here's what happened in context, and then here's the conversation to have around that, whether it's depression, whether it's severe self harm. It it could be all these, we actually look for 17 different signals. And in those 17 and you even get to say as a parent, I don't care about these 4. I only wanna see the severity the most severe on these 5. And these Oh, that's interesting. If you wanna send me the alerts on these, that's fine. So, yes, we are trying to, really, how do you how do you walk the line of giving kids as much privacy as they need so that they can have innocent mistakes happen? Like, we're not trying to stop that. But if there are groomers coming after your kid, then you should know as a parent.
Matt McKee [00:33:33]:
And if there are things happening, or that your kid is searching for inappropriate material, you should be able to have that conversation. So that's what we're trying to empower. We're trying to empower parents to do all of that. What are so so if I distance, this is Bark running on the back end? So it is it's artificial intelligence running, on behalf of parents. Yes.
Adam Mitchell [00:34:02]:
Yep. Yep. So it's, is it something that a parent installs on their child's phone, but it's not something that they the child can access themselves. Is that accurate? So,
Matt McKee [00:34:14]:
in fact, if, in terms of platforms, let's just say YouTube. Yep. So, you know, you wouldn't even have to have access to their device. It would be anywhere that they get on to YouTube. And, you know, they're they've logged in, and now, you know, because they've logged in, and they're interacting, you're gonna be able to see all the comments. You're gonna be see able to see all the videos. Now we do have an app, that you can put on your child's device. That app, then will help, monitor all the text messages, and it's gonna help monitor all the photos that are taken or downloaded or screenshotted.
Matt McKee [00:34:55]:
It's going to help, monitor all the voice memos and all the notes and all the things that are happening on that device. Yes, we we do that today. And then so we have an app for the device, but we also run across the platform. And the way we run across the platform is by knowing your kid's, password or allowing your child to log in even if you don't know your kid's passwords. And what I mean by that is you as a parent sending a text message saying, hey. We're gonna use Bark to keep you safe. Can you log in to Instagram, or can you log in to, whatever platform that they're on? Then that gives us permission to then run on behalf of the parent and then send them alerts. So that's how we're running in the background.
Adam Mitchell [00:35:47]:
There there's a lot of different schools of thought where parents come at this a lot of different ways, Matt. I'm I'm interested to hear what you've seen, the most success with. I don't want your you know, I don't want to let my kid know that I'm watching them, or I want my child to know that I'm watching them, or, my no. My child sees everything. I I see everything that they do. And then there's somewhere in between, there's the parent that says, you know, I just want you to be safe. So I'm doing this to sort of watch you could be as free as you want, everything. But I I, you know, I really think, Matt, that children want their parents to protect them.
Adam Mitchell [00:36:28]:
They want their parents to show up for them or show that concern, which could you talk a little bit about the different attitudes that you've witnessed parents taking, what the downsides are, or what some of the upsides are?
Matt McKee [00:36:42]:
So here's where I fall, just so you know. I don't think it's my job to control. It's my job to see, to teach self control. And Great. I think when it comes to technology, you must have an entrance strategy and an exit strategy. Too often, parents get stuck on 1 or the other. So when your child is 7, yeah, you better know every password. You better be able to, block and filter and do all these different things that are happening because your 7 year old is not mature enough to take on the Internet.
Matt McKee [00:37:17]:
By the time they're 18, you shouldn't know any of their passwords. In fact, you should have them set up to be a good digital citizen. Now those 10 years are a tough 10 year. It's a tough 10 year because your child is, building trust with you, and they're gonna make mistakes, and they're gonna, do all these different things that you don't want them to do, utilizing technology, and you're gonna have to give consequences and, you know, whether you'd know everything or not. Again, it's not about control. The ultimate goal as a parent, at least for me, is for my kids to wanna come back for Thanksgiving. That means I have a great relationship with them. And I'm not gonna let technology and me trying to know everything or control everything get in the way of them and our relationship that we have so that they would want to come back for Thanksgiving.
Matt McKee [00:38:15]:
That's where I come down on this. And that's why I I tell parents, yeah, you should tell your kid what's going on. And, yeah, when you get an alert that's really scary, you should sit down and have a conversation with them and go, hey. I'd hey, bud. I just wanna make sure you're okay. Like, this isn't about us. That's what this is about. It's not about anything else.
Matt McKee [00:38:37]:
Like, this this is our family. This is how we deal with this as a family. It's not your goal to catch your kid. Like, if you're if you're trying to catch your kid doing something wrong, there might be something wrong with your relationship with your kid.
Adam Mitchell [00:38:54]:
Agreed. You said a a a good Internet citizen. Can you say more about
Matt McKee [00:38:59]:
that? Yeah. So, you know, just like any other, any other environment that we're in, like, you you want your, child to represent the family in an incredible way. And, when they show up online, you want them to represent your family the way that you would want them to represent your family if they were, you know, at at any other, engagement or you know, tonight, prime example, we're going to a baseball game. Right? So we're as a family. Now there's some expectations that I have on my boys of the way that they're going to interact with others, the way they're going to behave, the way they're gonna treat their mom. Like, there's all these expectations when it comes to the way that we're gonna show up to this baseball game. The same thing goes with being a digital citizen and what happens online. Unfortunately, too often, dads, have lost all credibility because they don't show up to, online events and, and show proper, you know, civility.
Matt McKee [00:40:13]:
I'll I'll just say that. Like, look.
Adam Mitchell [00:40:16]:
This is uncensored. You can go go for it. Let it all out.
Matt McKee [00:40:22]:
You know what? Here here's what is really sad. If we just go over the last two and a half years of what's happened online, too often, we would lose our credibility because of things that we posted and feelings that we had at that moment. And we got into it, and we're like, hey. I'm gonna make a point. Right? Yeah. And you know what? Here's the problem. Your feelings at that moment, at that post, it stayed right there. It didn't grow with you, and it didn't change with you.
Matt McKee [00:40:55]:
Over the last two and a half years, more than likely, you've grown and you've changed. That post didn't. So as a good digital citizen, you have to take into account that every time you post, every time you interact, that that post isn't gonna grow or change even though you might. So teaching your kids that as well, means that, you know, it may come back. I mean, I hate to say this, but but kids have lost, college scholarships because of things they posted.
Adam Mitchell [00:41:27]:
That's right.
Matt McKee [00:41:28]:
Kids have lost, opportunities at jobs because of things they posted. And it's because right then and there, they had a teaching, and and we gotta get past that. So, that's what I mean by being a good digital citizen is, you know, when you show up online, it's just like showing up to any other event. How are you gonna behave? Are you gonna represent yourself well? Are you gonna represent your family well?
Adam Mitchell [00:41:53]:
Matt, that raises an interesting question. How concerned should we be about that old content, about that content from 9 years ago maybe? That stuff still is in sort of perpetual syndication. It is always out there. Or do you feel, that look. Don't be so concerned about that. But inside a window of 3 years, let's just say I'm just pulling a number out. You know? That's where you wanna be concerned. And if there were was content that our child may have been involved in, even if it's a couple years ago or further back, how can we best mitigate that?
Matt McKee [00:42:31]:
Yeah. So I I wish, I wish every kid out there got a do over at age 18. I would all of their online content, that that that is out there, I wish it would go away. When they turn 18, I I wish it would just all start again. And they go, no. I'm a new person. I made stupid mistakes when I was 13. Like, and I would.
Matt McKee [00:42:56]:
I mean, I would encourage, kids at at, unless, you know, at 17 and they're trying to get into into college, everything before that, unless it's something that you've celebrated because you created it, every interaction, anything that, goes beyond that, I'd almost take down. I really would. And then in terms of, in terms of parents, believe it or not, there are services and companies out there that can go through all of the stuff, all of your accounts, and tell you, you might wanna take down this, post. You might wanna take down that post, because it's not gonna look good to an employer. It's not gonna look good, just in general. Like, it may come across in a in a different way. And, because of that, you might not get a promotion that you thought you deserved, believe it or not. And it's something that could have happened 9 years ago, instead of just 3 years ago.
Matt McKee [00:44:01]:
So, you know, those are just, those are just some things to take into consideration. How concerned should
Adam Mitchell [00:44:07]:
we be as far as the IoT or, like, the different devices and smoke alarms now listening to you and the this thick refrigerator and all of the different devices in their network in terms of safety, well, I'm gonna I'm gonna kind of double side this question in terms of entrance or or or violation or it recording what I'm doing and it being on a database somewhere. How about that? What can you say about that?
Matt McKee [00:44:40]:
Well, just just know that anything and everything that you do online is being recorded. Yeah. A 100% like that.
Adam Mitchell [00:44:48]:
Out to. Yeah. Yeah.
Matt McKee [00:44:49]:
Yeah. It it doesn't matter. So, unless you're, unless you're going, okay. I'm totally unplugging, then you just have to take that into consideration. And it's not just IoT devices. It's not just, you know, things, echoes that are, in your house or, home pods or whatever it is. Right? It literally is your Internet service provider. Like, how you could it's your wireless carrier.
Matt McKee [00:45:19]:
Like, it and you're like, woah, but I use a VPN or I use whatever. Like, even then, you should take into consideration that, yes, you are being recorded, and, all of the information that you've ever, put online or continue to put online is out there. So why is it worth the risk? Right? So that's really what we come, you know, come down to. And I'm like, well, I don't know that many, I I I don't know that many Amish people. I really don't. Like, but I I know that it's a great community. I know it's a community, that loves their family and does all these things. But here's what I also know about the Amish.
Matt McKee [00:46:07]:
They've lost a lot of influence. They've lost a lot of influence in our world. They've lost a lot of influence, just in general because they'd said, I'm going to disengage. Like, I they can make incredible furniture. They can make incredible quote. Like, they have I'm not saying that they're not valuable. What I'm saying is because they disengaged, they lost all influence. And as a parent and as and if you want your kids just to totally disengage, I think that's what's going to happen.
Matt McKee [00:46:41]:
I think you're going to lose all influence, not only, in your ZIP code, but I think you're gonna lose all influence when it comes, e even further, for the rest of the world. And that's what I would hate to see. I would hate to see incredible men lose incredible influence. That's why it's worth the
Adam Mitchell [00:47:04]:
risk. Powerful. Wow. Great example too, Matt. You know, I got a couple more questions, and I also wanna make sure that all of our listeners and watchers are, hearing what you're saying and not being afraid to step into a deeper conversation with you, whether it be here or whether it be through your social media, and we'll get into those that at towards the end. I'm curious. What keeps you up at night when it comes to what you're seeing happening, changing, evolving that you're like, man, I don't know I don't know if we can confront that. I'd online, what is what is in the closet? What's lurking that that we should really be present to that even keeps you up at night?
Matt McKee [00:48:00]:
So the idea of, of data overload, really is a problem. Like, when you when you think about every book that's ever been written, like all of human history, every recorded message that we have, and you put all of that data and you light it up with all the other data that we, now have access to, all of the books, everything from, literally, night, probably 2018 is 6% of all data that we have on record. Yeah. 90% of all information that we have stored in, you know, large building servers and everything else, 90% was created in the last 2 years. Like, we wonder why we get overwhelmed. We wonder why we're online, oh my goodness. I'm depressed. I can't keep up.
Matt McKee [00:49:02]:
We wonder why kids are, the comparison trap and all those different pieces. We wonder why that's happening. It's because no other generation has had to deal with this. No other generation has had to go, how how do I comprehend this much information? Because it used to be that you got a piece of information, a pearl of wisdom. Like, you'd get 1 a week. Right? Like, you'd be like, hey. That's right. Yeah.
Matt McKee [00:49:34]:
I can and then someone would give you a book, and it was because they trusted the author. They went through all these different stages and all this different stuff to to be able to publish that book. Now 7,000,000,000 people have a microphone, and they're shouting at you 247. Like, it is unbelievable. So Yeah. The thing that the thing that keeps me up at night truly is, this this idea of data overload and how, the fear of us unplugging every now and then means that we think we're gonna miss out on something. We have to do a better job. We have to do a better job in, in unplugging.
Matt McKee [00:50:20]:
We have to do a better job in in taking breaks. We have to do a better job in, in letting technology, actually help us. And, and, you know, those those are just some of the the different pieces. So, look. It's it's a lot, and it's okay if you feel overwhelmed, because most of us do. I'll say that. Just know that, the best the best thing that you can do is, is just take a break, and it'll it'll be okay.
Adam Mitchell [00:50:54]:
You've brought the, the top that goes depression up a couple times down this conversation. I'm curious to hear if you feel that that is more that that's something that is more of a threat to parents than maybe porn or or, or, you know, more adult content online, is the the the lessons a real thing because it leads to many other things. Right? But what are you seeing on your end? Yeah. You you mentioned it a few times, so I just wanted to see if we could unpack that a little bit.
Matt McKee [00:51:26]:
Yeah. I look. Most people worry about the, you know, most parents worry, hey. I gotta block, you know, this certain content. That's what they get. But it really is the interaction around content that leads to emotion that leads to mental health. That's really what's concerning me. That's why suicide is the number 2 killer of teenagers in America is because of depression.
Matt McKee [00:51:54]:
And, and it's because and we've seen study after study, the more we look at screens, the more we crave a real relationship. So parents have the biggest opportunity. The more you see your kids on screens, the more they're actually screaming at you that they need a real relationship because more than likely, they're having to deal and interact with content that is making them depressed. And that's why as a as a parent, you have to take this so seriously and get involved.
Adam Mitchell [00:52:29]:
Wow. The more so the more your child looks at a screen, the more they are calling out for relationship with you. Yeah. Yeah. Just, to take a moment to step into that and kinda feel into that a little bit because how many of us, you know, let our kids sit there and play Minecraft for 6 hours after they get home from school? And, to us? And I, you know, I really acknowledge that a lot of us, we get home from work, and then now we've got our next job to go to and getting things dinner ready and, you know, whatever's gotta get fixed at the house. And do I have time to pay the bills and all the worries and concerns? We've gotta take this person here and that person here. It's just like, alright. Just sit there and play Minecraft and enjoy yourself.
Adam Mitchell [00:53:16]:
But then, yeah, I what that's really that's a that could really punch a lot of men in the stomach, what you just said there, but it's so true, isn't it?
Matt McKee [00:53:26]:
It really is. By the way, if your kid is really into Minecraft, and you're like, how how do I get them off a game that never ends? Look at a service called Youth Digital. Get them to start modifying, Minecraft so that they're making their own swords or making their own outfits or learning how to code. And then not only are they in Minecraft, but they actually have done something, interesting in Minecraft. They've made it their own so that you can actually celebrate it, instead of them just going out, and playing a game all the time. Look, again, it's a mindset intimidating. It's a mindset shift, and you go, okay. And then you can hold them accountable.
Matt McKee [00:54:10]:
You see, too often, we ask the question, how much time should my kid spend on technology? I wish we'd throw it away. Ask the question, what's the purpose of my kid even being on technology? If they have a purpose, then you can hold them accountable. If it's only time, then guess what? You're just gonna fight with them. It only takes 8 minutes for an online predator to connect with your kid, like, to build a relationship. 8 minutes. That's not what it is. If you're talking about purpose, hey. What's the purpose of being on that? Is it to get better? Is it to, do something cool? Like, what's the purpose of you even being on that device? Then you can hold them accountable to it.
Matt McKee [00:54:53]:
It's not about time. It's about purpose.
Adam Mitchell [00:54:56]:
That one thing right there, if I was to take away anything from this conversation, that was that was powerful. I'm actually gonna be using that in in my martial arts school with the parents that I talked to come to me with that, and I could quickly turn that around quickly turn that around and say, what was the purpose? What was the reason for that? I'm sorry. I just had a little interruption. Did you hear what I said? Yeah. I did. Okay. Cool. I wanna make sure that that wasn't lost.
Adam Mitchell [00:55:28]:
So when yeah. Wow. Matt, last question for you. K. I want you to step back to when, well, let me set the scene here. I want you to imagine as though you are with, with a with a friend and celebrating the birth of their child, and you stop by to drop off some flowers at the hospital. As you're walking back to your car, you're going through the digital, you pass the the the the the child the child. You see a father looking in through the glass window at his new baby.
Adam Mitchell [00:56:00]:
Different father, and you just kinda, for a moment, you appreciate that because you remember back to that experience when you you first became a dad. He catches your eye, and he just says, it's my first one. I'm you know? And you could tell that he's going through those same feelings that you and I had. Like, how am I gonna pay for this? How am I gonna protect this? Something like feel like all of a sudden, this has happened. But with your experience, Matt, where you are both, career wise as a dad, everything that you've gained up to this point through all the relationships and everything, realize that he's kind of asking for maybe a little bit of advice from yoga. And you've got a minute. What's that teaching that you would share with him in that moment?
Matt McKee [00:56:43]:
Don't try to make, your kid what you wished you could become. Let your kid, find the gifts, the talents, how they're created, their lessons. Fuel that for the rest of their life, not what you're passionate about, what you find interesting. Because once they've identified who they are as a person and you getting behind that, it will make them more successful than they will ever become trying to be you. And as a dad, I wish that we got, more dads, around that. Then we wouldn't be having them go, hey, I need you to be a better version of me. No. No.
Matt McKee [00:57:23]:
No. You need the to them to be the best version of them in the way that they are gifted and their talents and their passion. If I only had a minute, that's what I'd tell a dad.
Adam Mitchell [00:57:35]:
Powerful. Wow. Thank you so much for that. We all need to myself included, we always need to be reminded of that. So as we bring this to an end, Matt, I really want, the listeners to get engaged and to discover Bark, to learn more about it, but I also want them to learn about your book and the other work that you do, outside of Bark. And, what are those contact points, and, what would you like us to focus on? Also, what's some of the new work that you have in the pipeline, if any?
Matt McKee [00:58:06]:
Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. There's there's 3 different things. I need you to go to bark.us, sign up for a 7 day free trial. At least give us a shot to help you as a family, you know, make your kids safer online. So that's number 1. Number 2, the book is called marketing in a tech world.
Matt McKee [00:58:25]:
If you Google Marketing in a Tech World, what you'll find is a book, a master course. You'll find a parenting tech night event. You'll find a Facebook group that has a 197,000 parents in it. Like, you'll find all this stuff. Engage with that content as much, as you want. And, guess what? I don't hide well online. Neither do you. But, look, here's the deal.
Matt McKee [00:58:54]:
So Matt McKee, I'm at matt mckee on Twitter, on Instagram. I put a daily, I put up daily stuff, you know, just insights, stats, encouragement to parents, and, I'll interact with you there. And then finally, the third thing so, here's the deal. There is a documentary out there called Childhood 2.0. Childhood 2.0, is about an hour and a half. You find it on YouTube, and, I I wish I wish every parent, every dad would go out there, watch this because it really will show you where we are in terms of, parenting and technology and where your kids are. And if you allow your child to be on social media, I I would challenge you to have them watch that documentary with you because everything that they see on that documentary, as hard as it may be, they're already encountering because they're online, and it will drive a better conversation for you and your child. So, yes, go sign up for Bark, look up parenting in a tech world, and then go watch the documentary.
Matt McKee [01:00:08]:
It's free. You can find it on Amazon Prime. You can find it a bunch of other places, but it's free on YouTube. It's been, seen now millions of times, and that's childhood 2 point o.
Adam Mitchell [01:00:19]:
I would be sure to include that, of course, in the notes, along with the access to your book and all the links to yourself, Matt. I just you know, you just brought the truth, man, and I wanna honor you for that. And what you've done, I think, to many of us, myself included, is you have burdened us with the truth. You understand that? It's online, you know the truth. Now if you go ahead and screw up, it's on you. It really is on you. You know this information. You have the resources.
Adam Mitchell [01:00:50]:
You don't have to pay anything other than your own time. That's even giving you an opportunity to sit down and explore these with your kids and create some some engagement, some bonding time, kinda get on the same page that they could see why you have this concern. They could begin to they could get informed themselves. But here's the reality. You are now owner of the truth in all of these situations. Now I wanna thank you so much for supporting the child safety summit here that I'm putting together. I honor again once again, honor the work that you do and, the message that you learning. And, yeah, wow.
Adam Mitchell [01:01:30]:
But the lives that you've changed, the lives that you've been a part of saving, just, you know, I I I can't put words behind that. And I'm looking forward to hopefully having you on maybe on our podcast one day, to online this conversation. I'm looking forward to becoming a BarkBepper myself, and, this has really been exciting. Thank you so much, man. I appreciate you.
Matt McKee [01:01:50]:
Adam, thanks for having me. And I too, hopefully, will be on your podcast one day.
Adam Mitchell [01:02:00]:
Alright. Hope you enjoyed today's episode of Classes Quarter Dad. If you did, please make sure that you're subscribed wherever you get your podcasts, wherever you're listening to this. That way, you're updated each time I roll out a new episode. Best compliment that you can provide for me is to share this episode with other dads like us who might get some value from it on their parenting journey. Now if you're interested in taking it to the next level, checking out a community of men like us who are really focused on being that role in the lives of their children, when it comes to teaching them about personal protection, resiliency, confidence, and aspects of survival that they might need in their life going forward, then come on over to closequarterdad.com. There's a ton of articles, resources over there for free that I, put up. Lots of stuff.
Adam Mitchell [01:02:44]:
And if you're interested in joining the community of men inside the training, then you can do that over there. Anyways, classes. I just wanna thank you again for your time. I do appreciate it. I appreciate you and all the work that you do as a dad, and look forward to seeing you on the next